Sunday, 18 March 2018 12:39

Happy Bottom Bum Butter: Tested and Reviewed

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A few years ago I was writing some interactive cycling training to be rolled out country wide. I was restricted to items that this particular company sold and as I was writing the module on saddle fit and comfort, it occurred to me that for all the talk of good shorts, the right saddle etc I had to miss out something very important in the process. Chamois Cream. A lot of people don't like to mention it but smearing a good dollop cream into your bits can make a huge contribution in avoiding saddle sores

I've heard arguments that says if you have clean shorts you don't need it ..... blah blah. For a start it isn't always possible to maintain strict hygiene standards when multi day touring or in endurance races. Besides if I'm doing a century on a hot summers day I'm taking all the precautions I can. I wouldn't use cotton socks with good walking boots so even though my shorts are perfect I'm going to enhance them with some help.

I've tried many Chamois creams over the years with differing results. Some claim to be made with ingredients for men. What are they? Cars and Lager?. One made me deeply uncomfortable and seemed to actually cause sores. Whilst another worked like a roll on deodorant which just felt weird.

About three years ago I settled on my favourite which carried the name of a well know premium clothing brand. Not that affected my choice but it worked, was easy to apply and left a not unpleasant tingle. I thought I was set for life but whilst wondering around the cycle show at the NEC I spotted an interesting brand.

The branding and imagery behind Happy Bottom Bum Butter is pretty in your face so it's not really surprising I spotted it, but what was interesting was it claimed to be vegan. I'd never really thought about animal products being used in chamois cream and I'm not sure I'd ever really wanted to. Also they use cloves in the cream and it smelt absolutely lovely.


Here's what Happy Bottom Bum Butter have to say about their product

100% natural ingredients.
Vegan friendly
Pain relief from clove oil - pretty clever eh?
Vegetable glycerine and Egyptian geranium oil absorbs to lower dermis, all the way in to really repair your damaged skin.
Antiseptic and anti-bacterial with tea tree oil to stop you growing diseases in your shorts.
PET recyclable containers (you can make fleece jackets out of them)
Tested in the most demanding conditions... in my shorts, on @rseholes and not on animals.
Vegan as hell.
Female friendly, it won't make your girly bits zing.
Does not repel sharks or polar bears.
100ml jar goes a very long way, around 7,000 miles.
Made by two great people in their kitchen, just up the road from my shop.

Endorsed and used by real pro cyclists:
Lee Cragie our Ladies National Fatbike champion loves the Happy Bottom Bum Butter.
Markus Stitz who is riding round the world single speed is begging for it ;-)
Lance Bumstrong the best fake cycling messiah we could find ( )
Karen Darke winner of a Gold Olympic medal in the Rio Olympic


I think you'll agree that all this sounds very interesting especially the ethical and ecological attributes. However none of this would matter if it didn't work. In fact if it didn't work it would literally be a pain in the arse.

Luckily after obtaining a sample to test I had a cycle tour a few later from Belgrade to Tivat. My expectations of hot sunny days in the saddle were false and what we got was a trip with heat, rain, cold, wind with long days of mountain roads and physical suffering. What a totally fantastic trip and perfect to test chamois creams. Partly as a control measure and partly in case Happy Bottom Bum Butter turned out to be rubbish I took a pot of my tingly favourite. Well after a day of using each I soon settled on the Happy Bottom. I don't like applying it. It's quite think and makes me want a curry but once on it works all day. No saddle sores no chafing and as claimed it has healing properties. I've applied it a skin problem I've had a while and it worked far better than what my GP gave me.

At an RRP of £17.99 Happy Bottom at a medium price point. There are cheaper alternatives and there are better known brands out there. I'm often asked does my bum hurt after cycling all day. Very, very rarely. When people go on about saddles and getting the right fit I often get frustrated because how do you know if a saddle is a right fit unless you've done a few miles! Always look at shorts first and always if riding a lot I'd recommend chamois cream and at the moment I'd pick Happy Bottom Bum Butter above all else. What's more with it being online you don't need to go in to a shop to ask for it by name.

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