Sunday, 28 May 2017 12:09

Things to do on a Bike This Year: Look Good

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I've got a confession. Although I know I'm extremely photogenic and I'm unaware the camera is pointed in my direction on most occasions, I may just be a little bit of a poser. No don't argue with me I am honestly, trust me.

Anyway coming with that is the responsibility of looking good on the bike, something I excel at. I'll never be able to pass on climbing tips or time trialing tips or tell you the best way to hit a berm or pull a wheelie, I can't even bunny hop without spds. Nutrition wise? Well until Chips become a super food you'll get no joy here, but rocking the Lycra? Read on

People like to say image isn't important. Ah bless them. Look at it like this Chris Froome will never be as popular as Wiggo and I'm sure that is partly to do with how they look on a bike. I've watched them both time trialling in the flesh and Sir Brad looks elegant, almost balletic or swanlike like whereas Froome looks like he's borrowed his bike off a much smaller friend or like a bag of spanners, whichever you prefer. I'm sure Froome doesn't care he's won the tour three times after all but David Millar, a confirmed drug cheat, has never won the tour but is loved enough for his elegance he gets to drive a Maserati and is forgiven for stupid headwear.

posing on my baby

 However you don't need to be a pro to look good. It is really simple. The most important thing is wearing the right kit. On a road bike you'll never look good with a peak on your helmet or wearing baggy shorts, Oh and shave your legs. Make sure that your kit actually fits. Big guts will never be aesthetically pleasing but that can go in time. In the meantime don't wear form hugging jerseys go for the comfort fit. Always bib shorts. You'll never look good with your arse crack on display which ALWAYS happens with non bibs.

Kit needed be expensive. If you wear it right £30 bibs look as good as £200 bibs. Just make sure your shoes, socks, glasses, helmet jersey and gloves follow the same colour scheme.

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 When you're considering your glasses, please no clear lenses. Clear lenses are only for commuting. Especially if it's a bright sunny day. Ideally they should be worn outside helemt straps but as that isn't possible with mine and I rock the look this is of less importance than previously. People will just point and laugh.

Always have clean shoes and if it's a warm sunny day ditch the waterproof. You'll hear talk about matching brands but that doesn't matter in reality. Only those that are sponsored or rich care about that.

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Remember that you're just part of the picture. Besides the fact that a cyclist in kit without a bike is ridiculous your bike is an important part of the pic. If you're a roadie then make sure it is clean and polished. Only mountain bikers look good on a dirty bike, in fact they look better (more later).  Please no snazzy bartape even if it is ironic. Wheels make a huge difference to how a bike looks so becomes a simple upgrade. It's also a way to make a good bike great to ride.

One thing though and a safety warning. Instagram and Twitter are full of riders taking selfies whilst riding. This is stupid and dangerous and not something I'd ever do.

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Mountain bikers face more of a challenge. Obviously the bikes aren't as pretty and there's a lot of beards. It's still easy enough to overcome this. Long hair obviously helps but again get shorts that fit. Too baggy and you look like a clown.

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Also beware of too many pockets you don't want to look like a member of 90s girl group All Saints. The bike itself really doesn't matter. Full sus, hardtail or even fat bike will look good. It should be muddy or dusty but it should be fresh mud or dust. Dried mud? No thanks.

But finally I'll give you the secret to always looking good whilst riding. Just be happy. It's cycling, you're supposed to be enjoying it and when you're enjoying it you'll always look good, not that'll you really care anyway!

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picture courtesy of Nic Costello.