The fact that Cold Wars contains a lot of mountaineering is almost incidental, this is not a book about mountaineering - it's a book about a man, told with an honesty and openness that's almost as painful as some of the positions he's got himself into. That the book stands on its mountaineering content is a bonus but it's the internal struggle between his profession and his family that sets it apart. As a book about mountaineering it's average, as a book from the heart about what drives a man in the dangerous world Andy Kirkpatrick inhabits it's immense.

Nominally Cold Wars is about the costs of mountaineering at this level as opposed to why he climbs, which was addressed in Pyschovertical, but again it's more than that. It's as remarkable an insight into why as much as I expect Psychovertical to be. Andy Kirkpatrick inhabits the dangerous world he lives in because he's driven to it; not for the buzz, not for the money and not quite for the fame. Cold Wars is a man's struggle for acceptance and mountaineering is a medium to gaining that acceptance. It could just as easily have been motorbike racing or some other high risk occupation. With the risk comes the acceptance he needs to justify himself to himself, and to his peers. In so many ways it's the classic story of the boy from the council estate who made it good and because he still can't quite believe it he just keeps on pushing the limits

Andy Kirkpatrick wants to be someone and the world of mountaineering, and especially big walls, gives him that chance. His descriptions of walking into a cafe and seeing a table of the elite of his profession screams out with honesty to anyone who knows that feeling. Simultaneously believing you could and should be on that table and feeling unworthy in the presence of such greatness is painful but it also drives you to greater and greater efforts to make that transition. Cold Wars tells the story, chronologically, of how this drive to be seen as worthy has put Andy on big, bad, forbidding walls of rock around the globe; usually in the worst imaginable conditions.

It's equally a story of feeling like an officer raised from the ranks amongst the public school, Sandhurst graduates. That he is one of that elite now doesn't sit easily with him and looking around at those he shares his life with just shows him the things he's not - or more often the things he thinks he's not. He measures his worth against those who've gone before and his peers, choosing to repeat the hardest lines in harder circumstances because being measured against others is important to him. It shows up as jealousy as he looks around at those getting more money, those without the responsibilities of a family and those who can fly around the world on near continuous expeditions. He wants to be those people....they're people others look up to, idolise as gods and demi-gods and if only he had those advantages he could be the best of the best.

But he also wants to be a Dad, the best Dad, and a high risk profession doesn't make that easy. Every second he's home others are out in the mountains putting up routes and repeats he could be doing and he longs to be there, but once he's there the thoughts of Ewan and Ella tug relentlessy at his unconscious. The drive for acceptance, however, drives him on. He can't take the mountains and big walls home with him but at least mentally he can take Ewan and Ella with him, the promises made to them intruding from his sub-conscious at vital moments. As I was reading Cold Wars Andy was again on a big wall, his third attempt to solo the infamous Troll Wall, and while following his blog and simultaneously reading of a previous epic on the same wall made it all feel more real it came as no surprise that it was "little voices" that brought him safely home.

If you're looking for a read full of adventure and epics you'll get your fill as Andy Kirkpatrick takes on almost suicidal lines up walls from Norway to South America. What you'll also get with Cold Wars a superbly written insight into the life of a world class performer torn by internal battles, never satisfied because to stand still is to go backwards and infuriatingly not recognising that he doesn't need to be be measured against anyone. He is one of the best, he is unique, and he is a demi-god the rest of us mere mortals look to for our inspiration.

Note: This article was restored from the archives. It's published creation date is inaccurate.